Categories: uncategorized
Date: 25 May 2007 22:58:02
I've just got back from playing badminton. I really am rubbish at it. I play most Fridays with a group of friends and haven't won a game for about two months. When we play doubles, the deciding factor in who wins is which side of the net I am on. Even my friend who is really, really good at badminton loses when I am her doubles partner.
But you know, I enjoy it. I don't mind that I'm not very good at it - we've got to have some things we're not good at, or we'd all be good at everything, and then where would we be? We have a good laugh and I run about and sweat a lot, which hopefully means I'm getting a tiny bit fitter.
What I don't enjoy is when people notice that I am rubbish and try to be all affirming about it. Making sympathetic noises and telling me a shot was good when I know it wasn't. Telling me how much I'm improving when actually I don't care all that much anyway.
It does my head in when people are so desperate to be positive that they won't allow you to be honest and say 'actually I'm not very good at that', when you really aren't very good at it. There was a guy who used to go to our church who was like that and it all ended in tears on more than one occasion - he just wouldn't accept it if you said 'I can't do that' or 'I'm not very good at that'. This was a problem when he was (for example) leading worship, and I was singing, and he wanted me to sing a particular note or harmony line which was beyond me. If I said 'I'm sorry, I just can't get up there, it's out of my range' when we were practicing he would just tell me to stop being so negative and down on myself and press on. So when it came to actually singing the thing in the service it would all go horribly wrong, because I wasn't being negative, just honest about my capabilities.
There are some things I'm not good at which really bother me, and I want to practice and get better. There are some things I'm not very good at and that's fine - I'm not a particularly sporty person and never have been - as long as I get off my backside enough to stay reasonably healthy that doesn't bother me. There are some things I am good at, and a few things I excel at - why would I expect to be good at everything? It's just silly.
I will admit that it is slightly problematic that the things I am not so good at tend to involve sportiness and fitness, and the things I am good at include things such as baking incredibly sticky sugar and fat filled puddings. Never mind. Embrace your strengths I say. (And also 'pass the biscuits'.)