Missing the point

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 08 October 2005 22:05:47

Had friends over for the day today with their little girl. Lovely to see them; it's been a while. I was at college with with her (finished 8 years ago, which is scary) and we both went to the same church as him, which is (obviously) where they met. Married when she finished college, the year after me.

The church we all went to back then was an NFI church. They are still at an NFI church - ours in deepest birdieland used to be NFI but isn't any more. So that's the kind of flavour we're talking about.

So we got talking about church, as you do. And agreed, in discussion, that one of the failings of our sort of church is that we don't give people space to ask questions - especially hard questions. We all assume that everyone ticks the same boxes and signs on the dotted line, but often we don't actually know that. In our church, there is a course type thingy you go on before you become a member, so that's a starting point. But people change, they learn about other traditions' ways of looking at things, stuff happens to them that makes them think differently, maybe they wouldn't tick all the boxes now if they did the course thingy again. I'm certainly not sure I would. Anyway - my point is - there seems to be nowhere for me to ask these questions, as I've been around ages and it's assumed I'm toeing the line and nicely sure about everything. Mr birdie says I should be braver, and just come out with it.

So all this was said. We agreed that there needs to be space, not just for new people to ask questions, but people who have been around ages, and we shouldn't just assume that we all think the same way. Then -
Me: F'r'instance... the whole area of the atonement... I have some questions there, about penal substitution and all that. Steve Chalke's written a book, hasn't he -
Him: Oh yes that dreadful book! It's heretical!
Me: Um. Right... I haven't actually read it yet, but it's certainly an area where I have questions...
Him: I haven't read it all, but the bits I have read... Heresy!
Me: Um. Yes, never mind then.

Was that me, or was there a certain amount of missing the point there? I should be braver, like Mr birdie says. I should have just said "Well I've heard that book's good, and Steve Chalke certainly seems to be asking the same sort of questions I have." But I didn't want an argument. Especially over a book I haven't actually read yet. I must do that...