Categories: uncategorized
Date: 13 March 2006 21:22:58
Today I went to my local branch of a certain high street bank. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello, I'm hoping you can help. My husband and I are transferring our current account from bank x to this bank, and I'm trying to find out when our direct debits are going to be transferred over, so that we can make sure this month's pay goes into the right account.
Poor woman behind desk: Okay; do you know whether the new account here is open yet?
Me: Yes, it is. We have had a letter telling us it is and we have had our new chequebooks and cards for a couple of weeks. Last week I came in and asked when the direct debits would be transferred, and I was told to ask in our old bank, bank x. I asked them, and they told me to ask you. So I phoned your customer service number and was told the department I needed to speak to was closed. I finally got through to them this morning and they don't know anything about it. They think the paperwork is probably still here, in the branch.
PWBD: Oh.
Me: Yes.
PWBD: Who dealt with the account?
Me: Well, my husband has opened a business account here so the business manager, KW, dealt with that, and we're transferring our personal account at the same time.*
PWBD: Ah yes, well if there's a link to a business account, it will be KW, the relationships manager** who dealt with the personal account as well. If you take a seat I'll see if she can speak to you.
[I take a seat and hang about with a grumpy baby for some time. Eventually KW appears.]
KW: Hello, how can I help?
Me: As you know we're transferring our personal account at the same time as opening the business account. I'm just wondering when the transfer is actually going to take place.
KW: Oh, well I only deal with the business accounts.*** It would have been N who was dealing with the personal account. I'll just go and see if she's available.
[I continue to hang around, gently grinding my teeth. KW appears again]
KW: I'm afraid N is on lunch. I'm not sure when she'll be back, so the best thing is probably if I get her to give you a ring, is that okay?
Me: Fine. We're going home now so we'll be in for the rest of the afternoon.
KW: Great, I'll get her to ring you as soon as she gets back.
Has N rung us? Of course not.
I am going to keep all our money in a sock under the mattress, I swear.
*I didn't say at this point "because you won't give us free business banking unless we do, and at this rate, I'll be transferring the personal account straight back as soon as the free business banking is over"
**The what?
***aaaaaaaaaaaaargh