hypocrite - that's me.

Categories: ouch

Tags: Accident, Hospital, God, Forgiveness

Date: 18 February 2012 15:39:09

Hypocrite - That's me.

Diary of an accident victim Part 33

Saturday 8 March 2008

You may see my posts around this site, (Note: this blog was originally on the StPixels.com site) advising people that they can trust in God. That God loves them. That God wants to forgive them. But do I listen to my own advice? No. It's nearly two years after the accident and I'm still waiting for an outcome from the accident, still waiting for my treatment. The insurance company of the driver who hit me knows that it will not have to even start negotiating a settlement fee for damages, so they are slowing down the treatment to hold on to their money for as long as possible. Now I'm not really bothered about the money. But I want the treatment. I'm bitter. And bitterness is the wrong sort of anger. I know God wants me to be forgiving to the insurance company, to the driver, to the Ford Motor Company and to myself. But I'm still blaming all of them.

A prayer. Lord Jesus, you told us to pray, "Forgive us our sins as we are forgiving those who sin against us." And you were no hypocrite. On the cross you prayed for those who were executing you: "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing."

Lord, I want to be like you, able to release those who have wronged me into your forgiveness, but I'm finding it hard. Really, really hard. I know you want me to forgive them, and I want to do what you want, but I have anger which is stopping me from doing your will and my will. Lord I repent of the anger. Help me to forgive the driver, the insurance company and Ford. And help me to forgive myself.

Amen

...to be continued.

This was first posted on St Pixels blog on 9 March ’08 To see the blogs about the accident and recovery together please use the “ouch” link under Categories