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The seven year itch...
Categories: ouch, cycling, god, forty-blogs-of-lent
Tags: Cycling, Pain, God, Christ
Date: 14 March 2013 20:10:28
...and ache, and pain and...
Forty blogs of Lent
Day 25
Happy Birthday arthritis.
Today it is seven years since, at about 7.45pm on Tuesday 14th March 2006 I was helped off my bike by a motorist.
Since then there hasn't bee a pain free day. Coming to terms with this has taken a long time, and I'm not sure I'm there yet.
It's worst when the weather is cold or damp. Which given the weather at he moment is a lot. The other thing that takes a lot of getting used o is going to a church where God's healing power is mentioned regularly, in fact I've been prayed for regularly but like Paul's thorn in the flesh it won't go away.
What sort of God would heal some and leave others unhealed? Have I done something wrong that has lost me God's favour?
Is God some sort of tyrant that would heal some and not others? What sort of God builds up your expectations by seeing others healed then....
...nothing.
Why would a benevolent God allow this to happen?
All questions I've asked myself and God over the last few years. I've come to an answer of sorts. I've screamed a God, but to say that God ignored me is not the half, I have felt like God has put his fingers in his ears and screamed LALALALALAL! back.
But when I sit back and believe, when I trust that God knows what he's doing, that's when it all changes. God stops feeling so remote. Far from leaving me alone to suffer God go with me through the pain. It still hurts, I still get angry when it hurts, and God still feels remote when I'm angry. but when I trust, then God comes alongside.
Trouble is it isn't easy. But we were never promised easy.