We are family!

Date: 12 November 2008 11:12:42

Yesterday I had a really nice surprise. My twin aunts were in London for medical testing. That kind of sounds worse than it is, as identical twins they are involved in various testings related to aging research, and conveniently they get their flights paid from Guernsey to London so that they can indulge in one of their favourite hobbies, shopping. So, anyway, at about 2pm they texted me to see if I was around for supper so I left work a bit early and met up with Auntie Jen, Auntie Josie and my cousin Chloe. It was such a fun evening. We wandered around until we found a little, quietish Mexican restaurant and we proceeded to sit there for several hours, consume a couple of bottles of wine and we GOSSIPED!!

For those of you who don't know, I have a very large extended family – I think there are over 40 of us on my Mum's side these days – and we are very close. The majority of them live in Guernsey and my Gran Nora who died in February was a real matriarch, and kept the family close and connected, but to the frustration and irritation of some of us at times. But last night I met with my aunts and cousin because we wanted to be together – not because we had a big family gathering to be at. We talked about stuff that is happening at the moment, things that are happening in Guernsey and plans for Christmas. However, we also reminisced about Gran and her house and we talked about Chloe's dad who died 8 years ago, who we all miss very much. The ability to remind ourselves of the fun we have had over the years as a family was so important. It reminded me how connected I am to this large, vibrant, compassionate, caring, My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding-style family and how much love them all. I miss being at home very much, especially when I hear of parties, walks, barbecues and dinners that I miss out on, and yet I still feel very connected.

Working in social care I am constantly reminded how privileged I have been to grow up in this environment. How fortunate I have been to have a family who is committed to each other, and who see raising children as a joint effort, rather than it being left to the individuals who are the parents. At times it has felt like having several mothers, and there is such pleasure in having so many people to share problems and joys with.

What we realised last night is that whilst the person who was the centre of our family has gone, the family unit still exists and is still strong. We know we will have to work at it to ensure that those family ties and bonds remain and yet I feel that the pleasure of meeting together and our shared experiences will hold us together. I have great relationships with my cousins and I am determined that we will meet together for drinks regularly, even if that is only once a year at Christmas. It is good to re-live the drunken teenage years, and of course to indoctrinate the cousins who have just turned 18 into the Le Tissier way!

I realise more and more that this style of family is quite unusual. It seems more common to have small, fractured families and the fact that our family is the opposite is a bit of anomaly. I thank God for my family - for their love, care, companionship and friendship. I thank God that they have helped to make me into the woman I am now, and without them I would be infinitely poorer.

This is a picture of my Mum and her sisters – they are even all looking like each other these days!