A place called home

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 05 December 2006 23:23:29

I have had a lovely evening and much needed after the stupidness at work today.

I went out for dinner with Auntie Billie and four of our gay friends, three of whom I have lived with at one time or another. In fact I lived with two of the boys for about three years and we had a lovely time together, in general it was a very happy household and we had some amazing themed parties... including a Harry Potter party (with wand duels in the garden), a 1920's cocktail party and a toga party (we kept a selection of sheets and safety pins by the front door and anyone who entered was dressed ‘properly' otherwise they weren't allowed in)

At one point in my life I knew more gay men than straight men and my Mum absolutely despaired over the situation. She seemed to think I would never meet a ‘nice' boy and settle down etc, but it seems to me that those years have been extremely important. In fact it seems that gay men have featured heavily in my life since I was about 19 years old, and the first guy I fell in love with was gay. He now has a lovely boyfriend of his own and I am delighted for him! When I moved to this area to go to university and I eventually moved in with these two guys they helped to provide me with a family and a sense of belonging. I wouldn't have changed those years for anything and despite the fact that on occasions we drove each other mad I love them and the other guys dearly.

My life is more balanced these days; I know more straight guys than I did before, but my gay male friends will always hold a special part of my heart. They helped me to become who I am today. They gave me a huge amount of confidence in who I am and taught me that even though I am not a size 10 I can still be beautiful. It is ironic that until recently the men who have told me that they think I am beautiful have been gay men. Some people might think that was unhealthy, but they gave me such an important boost when I most needed it.

So evenings like today are important. They help me to reconnect with some of the people who have made me laugh the most over the last few years. They have seen me in my pyjamas with a huge hangover, out grooving at gay clubs, crying when I was stressed and sitting on the sofa like a vegetable when I have had a really busy day at work and I am all compassioned out. I am not sure how I would have got through the last few years without people like this who have taken me on face value, but seen through the front to the brokenness underneath. They have shown me that being who I am is about being a rounded, vibrant, vital and laughing girl and most importantly they have given me a place to call home.