My sister's wedding
Categories: uncategorized
Date: 03 February 2008 01:44:16
I have had a really tough day. My younger sister got married today for the second time. It was really hard going for me. I started crying when I got up this morning, struggled through the ceremony and carried on at the reception. I also tried to get as drunk as possible.
It seems to me that today marks two different things... it marks the end of every hope that I have that I will get married and 2. It marks the fact that I no longer believe in a faithful, gracious and loving God. For years I have believed that God will do the right thing, that he will work things out for the good of those who love him. Now I have just realised that that is complete and utter bullshit. What I see instead is a God who selectively blesses people and it makes no difference at all whether you worship him with all your heart and mind, you still cannot change his plans for you.
Instead of being able enjoy my sister's wedding I spent the time thinking 'it should be my turn' and the reality is that I am bitter and twisted. I have to deal with that, but I feel as though my sister has a future. She now has a nice 3-week honeymoon to go on and then she has a future with her new husband to look forward to. I have none of that. Life is shit. I have had enough.
Here are some photos of my truly 'fabulous' day.
