The Promise

Date: 10 May 2008 10:36:04

OK, back to last night. So, there I am, sitting in a Courage meeting, generally minding my own business (for a change) and Peterson is presenting a variety of stuff from his shows as well as a few other bits and pieces. Just as we are nearing the end he starts talking about Jesus healing the blind man (Mark 10) and how Jesus asks quite an unusual question of him. He asks him "What do you want me to do for you?". It would seem like an obvious question for a man who is unable to see, but Jesus asks him nonetheless. The theme of the evening was that so often we come to Jesus, viewing ourselves as the dregs of the church, and even society, when actually God has already given us so much. Instead of seeing ourselves as having little, we need to start seeing ourselves as having much; much of which God has already given to us. This question completely and utterly spun me out though, what would I ask Jesus for if I had a few minutes with him? Would I ask him for a husband? Financial security? A big house? Spiritual gifts? More compassion? I am not sure.

There are rare occasions when I feel like a total outsider. I feel as though I don't fit into the social groups that I am with, I am not gay or lesbian, I sometimes don't feel like I quite fit into the straight world and church can certainly feel a bit like I don't belong. Instead of feeling connected with my communities I feel like a foreigner in a strange land, and yet there are other times when I feel fully rooted and established in those communities.

Growing up in a charismatic pentecostal churches (Elim when I was a child through to Newfrontiers as an adult) meant that so much of my Christian life was based on prophetic words, hearing God, etc. etc. I had many 'words of knowledge', pictures etc. given to me, and yet over time very, very few of these have ever been fulfilled or stayed true in my heart. With the exception of one, which I keep coming back to, time and time again. Since the conference last week this promise from God has continually come into my head. It is a passage from Isaiah 58... the whole chapters is amazing but it is verses 11 and 12 that do it for me!

“The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.”

In 1997 I felt that God had given this to me as a promise as to the sort of woman I would be but I wasn't sure what being called a “Repairer of Broken Walls” or a “Rebuilder of Streets with Dwellings” would mean, or look like. In some ways I think I fulfill part of this in the job I do, but I think there is so much more to it than this. The promise isn't only to be this restorer, but that the Lord would be there always, guiding, protecting strengthening, and providing. Basically he will satisfy all things.
I don't know why this one promise has remained so strong, I dream about it, see the words in my head like a word cloud. I see photographs and pictures that tie in with this scripture and remind me of those words and promises. Every time I see a broken building, or a beautiful garden I think of this promise. Maybe that is why it has stayed so true. God has put reminders everywhere of the sort of woman that I have been called to be and the hope he has given me.

So, I come back to the original question, "What do you want me to do for you?".

I want this promise.