Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Reading Challenge, books, church, Newfrontiers, church-leavers, God
Date: 23 May 2008 23:49:13
I have just finished reading A Churchless Faith by Alan Jamieson . The book was basically his doctoral thesis and is about church leavers, their journies and how they have responded over time, both to the church, but also with pursuing (or not as the case may be) a relationship with God.
I first read this not long after I had left the church, about three years or so ago. It was a really tough book for me to read as so much of the content expressed my own sorrow and pain of leaving a church that I felt closely tied to. At the time the book also saddened me deeply as it it was expressing a degree of hope that I did not feel that I had.
So, a few years down the line I decided to re-read it and see if my feelings about it had changed. Jamieson believes that there are four different types of church-leavers; The Disillusioned Followers, Reflective Exiles, Transitional Explorers and Integrated Wayfinders. Whereas before I definitely fitted into the first category, it seems to me that I have progressed along my journey and I seem to fit more comfortably in the Integrated Wayfinders category. Of this group he says "Where Transitional Explorers are in the process of reconstructing their faith and developing an emerging self-ownership, the integrated faith people have to all intents and purposes completed this faith reconstruction work. While there is a sense in which the integrated faith is also still open and being constantly redefined and adapted, the major faith examination is now complete.”
Another reading of this book has been a bit of a revelation. For a start it completely reaffirmed for me that my decision to leave Newfrontiers was a good and a valid choice. It also reminded me of all the things I was most disillusioned with and it that some of those things were not about fixing the church, but more about fixing me. Jamieson says ”This [a new relationship with God] is the goal of faith for those who find their previous faith dislocating and shattering within them. It is not the journey away from pain, doubt and confession but the journey through struggle to a new appreciation of God at work.”
Maybe this is what it has been about for me. I need to start reframing all those experiences I had back then. Instead of it remembering how negative it was, I need to consider it as a fundamentally a positive experience. It showed me all the things that I didn't want to be a part of. It deepened my faith and my relationship with God and it brought me into a new and quiet intimacy with a God who delights in me.